Letter from Carolee Schneemann to Sally Dixon (07/06/1974)

6 july 74
6JULY 74
very dear Pam & John; VERY DEAR
why i didn’t write why your packages/gifts/books/loans etc are late why I started to cry when my lamb chop fell in the dusty chicken shit at Howells cook out where anthony build the fire place in front on the old barn why i didn8t go swimming at -the quarry why I fell down in the street in Sweden why I couldn't manage to carry my suitcase why I could still dance crazily but saw spots dizzy from standing still in a line why I tore up all the telephone books when a. accidently looked me IN the flat & I had all the props & materials for a performance that day to gather in three hours why I only do solo perormances & no more troups perhaps all those why and certainly why swollen glands- for 6 months bloating indigestion weakness bad skin exhaustion impatience ferocious hungers all hours of the day bones ache naUSEA wine tasted like rust constant esophagal spasms 10 months farting belching short of breath and finally in london from one dr to aonther nothing is working properly could only digest vegtablles carrying watercress everwhere now thats boring enough dangerously low blood
pressure  hypoglycemia
involving liver & gall bladder dysfunction
achlorhydria and acid rebound 
adreanal insufficiency 
hypo pituitary
 the cure is underway slow slowly too dizzy to discribe it /
essentially the brain wavers on and off working in the dgarden on the high energy hours extremely restricted diet and some of the four elements come from the garden extracted juices theres a break but impossible to work mental c oncentrations and falling asleep often enough or too often e nough did you know Telluride Colorado hsving first experimental film festival:
dusan makajevev leni reifenshahl cuppola very funny my friend tom luddy pacific film archives called mentioned telluride film festtival Colorado sure is big oOO miles from denver and anoh another witch way 400 miles from brakhage awn
anthony doing english gentry all over the lawn or to it .and being heoric in keeping food & me apart and steadying the rest
well dear Pam and John and Clyton and Caryl: aid I write when we 1
left you tney found the kitty litter 400 foot film tin & said "Kitty
lItter! Well then there must be a kitty!" 
I kept smiling and said yes. "Well then!” Unzipped the balck sack upspring you know who. The delayed the plane half an hour consult-
  ing with Captain CagfagSft ; stewards running around in half moon axes
stamping "NAUGHTY" on our foreheads finally insisted we could board if we agreed to buy a "PROPER TRAVELING BOX" (my box travels prope rly!) fortunately dear old england was misrepresetxxx ing KItch with a HUGE willow wicker hand woven leather thongs xx basket tarrif LLBs 6- worth every weave of it but of course being so huge it
required an entire seat for itself with small X Gat rattling about behind the willow reeds...and they didn’t have an ailse to stuff holy mary mother of us all gave the stweard the human conndition by which to adjust the moral monster coercion one aml small trained performer cat exploded in his hi-jack wang-off seed pod brain..... holy mother lay before us
one small Indian man in the center seqat with one empty on each side! Quietly reading. At Peace. Stweard Spinach pounced. One small bocncman brown man quickly dispatched (”I' m terribly sorry sir you only thi nk you are in the Proper seat— we’ll have to push you overboard...sorry...and here&s your macintosch!)
No thqat wasn’t the end of it anyways no
lucky number Boac got caught after 7 yukky hours got caught over Kendedy in violent thunder xxxxxSTORM flying blind turbulance terrific vomit everythwere the plane smelled to high heaven! I h ad an iron paw cluthced onto anthony and spotted thru the space between seats row on row of mingled clumping fingers becauce while we were being tossed Up donw yp down up down lightening clattering out the grey window space of high heaven/the palne had to zcc&lerate'and brake in the dizzying circle not to loose altitute etc. I kept visualiagng clumps of eye balls tufts of hair flying loose around the poine as following by platters and assorted organs as we all shook to bits and kitch was very ill as well touchingly aiming each upset into the 400 foot film tin of kitty litter/neatly. And of couse she was on my lap & the tin on the floor & we all leaned on the basket which had been strapped down by Stweard Rutabagas who explained it might just become a projectile traveling at 15 tons it sxxx gross annual product cutting off heads if we suddenly lost alttitute (and we were)..
at some moment Steward Sorrell staggered up with a lear and said "EVerything allright? Gat in the basket? Thats good. You mustn(t open it now!” kitch on my lap and we grinned ”we won’t even peek". God Bless "Queen Bess.
Richard and Phillipa had made an enlarged marvelous garden. Roses & wild flowers in devery vase and the floors shining and everything lovely they cooked us welcome home fish i am alwqys hungry now & extremely skinny like a young boy but nauseaus & only eat the brown rice gruel baked potatoes apple sacue garden juice thats all the "healing crisis” es begin as the liver starts to throw off body flushes all accumulated toxins begins to heal itself time consuming and many special exercises simple methodical breathing ones as well
many interesting linkings to remark but too precise to write still I get into city xxxxxxx to teach my class on feminist art history and some fantastic research has already evolved when we find it it really is thrilling and re-integrates re-centers the flow and charge of all historical fixations("trughts "facts”— bull shit & lies with a difference/the same!)
pleae appreciate my stubborn good will ..--  this harder than it xxx.
might seem ...tearing through the viels and good practice I say— and that work is how is we are dizzy fixity can still axim clear ings and the form of letter sharing: lots of love, work well !

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